To the Saints in Christ Jesus at Central,
I originally planned for this month’s blog to explain my biblical and theological convictions of a
children’s minister’s purpose and function. I completed about sixty percent of the blog before
Friday, June 7, 2:30 AM. My wife, Mallory, called me with the news that she believed she lost
our baby after 13 weeks of pregnancy. Without discussing all the details, we now know that she
was either pregnant with twins and lost one or had severe blood clots from a condition called
complete placenta previa. Both possibilities could also be valid as complete placenta previa can
result from twins. Regardless, there is currently a healthy baby in her womb; however, we now
have one more complication added to Mallory’s pregnant life. The list includes multiple UTIs,
chorioamnionitis (leading to an emergency C-section), preeclampsia, hyperemesis gravidarum,
ketoacidosis, and now complete placenta previa.
Before I make the point that I wish to make for this blog’s purpose, I do want to say that the list
above is MINOR compared to the sufferings some women face during pregnancy/delivery. We
have a healthy baby boy outside the womb and another healthy baby boy inside at this stage of
the pregnancy. We consider ourselves beyond blessed, and God has now developed a more
sensitive ear and compassionate heart towards those who suffer from pregnancy-related issues.
The complications list above are not to shout “poor little us” or seek attention. I mention these
things to lead the conversation towards my selfishness and desire to control more than the Lord
intends. I share with you because you may benefit from the same lesson the Lord is teaching me.
An IMB missionary and Central mission partner shared a quote in his most recent newsletter that
will stick with me forever. He writes,
“We do not get to dictate how God receives His glory.”
This statement struck me to the core when I read it. Let me explain by citing Scripture passages
before zooming into specific applications for our lives. The psalmist in Psalm 106 affirms his
generation and his ancestors’ sins, specifically those rescued from slavery in Egypt. Then, he
follows with this comment in v. 8, “Yet He (the Lord) saved them for His Name’s sake, that He
might make known His mighty power.”
It is accurate to say that the Lord saves us through Christ because He loves us. However, it is
inaccurate to biblically and theologically conclude in our minds that His love towards us is the
sole reason we are recipients of His great salvation. God also intends to glorify Himself in our
salvation! He is all about His glory, and rightfully so! Who else is God to glorify? Who else shall
our Lord exalt? He would no longer be a God worthy of our worship and exaltation if there were
someone else! We would turn to the other that He praises. However, there is no other.
God is the Author of our faith, but He is also “the perfecter of our faith” (Heb 12:2) who creates
us “in Christ Jesus for good works, which (He) prepared beforehand, that we should walk in
them” (Eph 2:10). That is correct! The good works that you and I attempt to determine and
dictate, we are an eternity late to the party! Our responsibility is to walk faithfully in the
predetermined plan of God that He generally reveals in His Word and specifically reveals daily
throughout our lives! The same missionary follows his previous quote: “I cannot allow myself to
fall into the sin of pride that says that I can tell God how I will glorify Him today. God is
glorified through our surrender and obedience, not through our calendar.”
One word, “OUCH!” Let me invite you inside your pastor’s mind before our first son, Thomas,
was born. I would tell Mallory, “When Thomas is born, we are going to spend so much time
building relationships with other families with kids who are lost and unchurched for evangelistic
purposes!” and “When Thomas is born, I want us to be even more involved with the nursery and
children’s ministry at church to strengthen our weaknesses in these areas!” and “When Thomas
is born, I will almost be finished with my Ph.D., and we can have more family time together!”
and “When I finish my Ph.D., I want to double the number of men that I disciple!”
These are great plans to have, and with the Spirit’s power and will, I still hope these plans come
to fruition. However, the Lord is teaching me that I do not dictate how He receives glory from
my life. Mallory, Thomas, and I have yet to meet other families at the park or even had the
opportunity to pray over and create a list of potential families with whom to build relationships
intentionally. We have not been more involved in our nursery and children’s ministry. People
have filled in for Mallory recently in these areas. Seminary is almost over, but the three of us
were together more when school was busier than we are now! Lastly, I still disciple the same
number of men as I did during the heat of my Ph.D. studies.
I suggested to the Lord how He should use me to glorify Him, and He informed me quickly that
He had other plans for this season of my life. I read aloud these words to Mallory as a portion of
my vows to her on our wedding day, “I vow to fight for our marriage every day. I vow to love
you no matter what our circumstances, during sickness and in health, times of anxiety and times
of peace; even if you come to a point in life where you have nothing to offer me except your love,
I vow to continue loving you in return.” God saw fit to test my commitment and teach me what
loving my wife as Christ loves the church is all about when Mallory spent multiple months in
bed, ten days in the hospital, and now unable to exert herself as she usually does. He is teaching
me to be present with my family more than just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and
spiritually. I can perform all my “duties and chores” and be physically present at home, but how
often am I emotionally present with my wife? How many dinners have I spent looking at her
across the table and sharing conversation while my mind drifted off pondering ministry
responsibilities? I was forced to leave those behind and grant my family my undivided love and
attention. The Lord is also teaching me the validity of Psalm 127:3, “Children are a gift from the
Lord.” Outside of Mallory, Thomas has become my best friend! That is right, an 11-month-old is
my best friend! We have a bond that would not be as strong with the freedom I had when
Mallory was healthy between pregnancies.
I could go on, but the point is made. I encourage everyone to seek and plan ways for the Lord to
use you for His glory, but always remember to be flexible because He has the final say in how
He receives glory through us! Be flexible and remain faithful to each new calling that He assigns
daily! “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and
My thoughts than your thoughts” (Isa 55:9). They sure are!